"Baby, baby, baby, ooooh"- Justin Bieber (2010)

There is a baby coming into my life. Not a ‘baby’ as in a pet or a new project. A miniature human whose predicted 2018 arrival fills me with great excitement, even though I am not his/her mother.

I became aware of this little person’s existence when I received an ultrasound image on my phone. It looked like a little peanut just chilling inside a slightly-too-large shell.

It was a bittersweet feeling in a way. You see, the baby’s mother and I have been close for our entire lives. Not only are my mother and her mother sisters, but we are only nine months apart in age. We grew up in different towns, but we were keen pen pals. We attended boarding school at the same time in the same city. When I was in a long-term relationship, we would take ‘couples’ vacations’ together with our spouses. Eventually the discussion had turned to having children and we both vowed that when/if the time came, we would do our utmost to have children at the same time.

So when the news came, I wasn’t particularly surprised, but I was a little sad. We had been so close as children, that the plan was for our children to be just as close. But given that I no longer have a partner, such an option wasn’t viable.

I do feel slightly invested even though I had nothing to do with this little person’s creation. As well as being a relative and close friend, I was thrilled to act as the MC at its parents’ posh wedding. I even bought a few books from Amazon.com to brush up on the role. ‘You Can Be a Wedding MC’ was a highlight. Ask me about the outrageously rude bird joke that the book recommended and that I never used.

I can’t imagine any two people better to raise a child, really. They are always so physically affectionate, fitness fanatics with a heap of common interests and a knack for making each other and everyone around them laugh non-stop. 

Even though we’re only a one hour plane ride apart, I am firmly sitting on my enthusiasm. I imagine that being a first-time mother with no family close by would be exceptionally difficult at the best of times.

So I will drink, nibble on soft cheese, eat seafood and continue to enjoy all manner of vices while awaiting the arrival of someone who I’m certain will be quite something. 

I also intend to get my whooping cough shot, and stay a comfortable distance away until the baby has settled in to life on the outside. As an ‘aunt’ of sorts, it is my job to spoil the child mercilessly. But spoil them with useful gifts, not crap trinket boxes such as those that hold a lock of hair or a first tooth. What a waste of money- use a ziplock sandwich bag! 

(Although, I can see the merit in keeping a baby tooth or two after they’ve fallen out. As a child, I once kept the same tooth for around three years, bringing it out every couple of months in order to collect a $2 coin from the Tooth Fairy. I think I still have it somewhere. I wonder if I could try it again now?)

Slightly off-topic for a second. I’ve recently been home to celebrate my Grandmother’s birthday and surprise my Dad for Fathers Day.

My parents have been casually hinting for a year or so that they would appreciate it if my siblings and I went to our childhood home and sorted through our childhood possessions. I needed to find a few things, so I headed down to the empty house alone one morning. There is a ‘family room’ and two bedrooms which are being used to store a collection of things that have been accumulated throughout the lives of five people, and over the space of 40 years. The memories came back in a slow montage, depending on what caught my eye. My stamp collection, the first CDs that I ever bought. The sweet smell of the house and the objects that I saw, made me want to jump into a Tardis and live my childhood all over again. Ironically, it was a client who partially inspired this search-and-find mission. We had been discussing semi-precious stones, which made me want to find my crystal collection from 15 years ago. I was surprised to encounter some sentimental baby stuff that my Mum has hung on to, “just in case”.

But I digress. Back to my nicely incubating ‘niece’ or ‘nephew’.

By the end of September, this tiny miracle will have grown enough that we can know its gender. I believe that there’s a gender reveal cake coming towards the end of this month (oooh, cake!) 

Let’s see if this little baby pushes me overboard into the sea of clucky-ness. I hope not, as I am freestyling beautifully through a sea of lucky-ness. I have the most fantastically close family, great friends and the best clients that a ‘temporary girlfriend’ could ask for. And of course, the best thing about being an ‘aunt’ is that you can hand the baby back when its nappy needs changing!

Below are my first two baby purchases. #excited *squeeeeal*

x Mischa